Tree Friend of Alabama

Having started working at a large American born company near London it was not long before I was introduced to the American culture and the staff, things were quite anarchic for a while until two Texans from the Dallas office stepped up for the challenge of helping us out.

Big Jason and Jarrod came over first Jarrod stayed for a day or so Jason stayed for 6 weeks and by all accounts got bored sitting around his hotel room and not really understanding us brits let alone Northernism.

I welcomed them and gave them brew. They said they liked it, and I knew this was the start of something cool. Jarrod went home, but no doubt will remember the Brew for many years to come.

As Jason was here longer I invited him to come over to Salisbury to visit the family and see the cathedral also Stonehenge as we live about 5 miles away from it, all was going well, my lovely wife had a roast dinner on the go we had a great day, kids thought American’s were cool but then…

On leaving the Stonehenge tour we bumped into this complete dick from Alabama who had a sword tucked into his belt and thought he was a character from Lord Of the rings... what a TWAT but later Jason explained to me that he was another pseudo-intellectual, one of many no doubt.

He remarked that he had just come back from a 5 week convention of Lord of the Rings, was the DBA impressed, I think not! But some how he acquired airtime….I just thought that he was a total head case so did my son Louie (6) who at one point we were discussing who was going to hit him first..
I could not believe that this guy had a sword shoved down his belt in broad daylight I mean someone who introduces themselves as tree - friend what do you expect, he did not listen to a word we said and notice big J from Dallas giving him the bird there nice....

By now we had endured 20 mins or more of him talking top A grade shite, the Northernism kicked in, and cleansing began in true northern style I said to tree friend "right I've had enough of this come on louie lets go, you are fucking not right you are! ", walking off with louie in tow, "Yeah Yeah, have a nice life tree mong", we were all in agreement he was a real arsehole.

Jason was somewhat embarrassed that he had come all the way from Dallas and run into a random nutter called tree-friend from Alabama! however in the car a quick CD, track one of Green day (American idiot) finished the Stonehenge tour we indeed chuckled!

Now the irony! we then meet a level headed coherent bloke from Salisbury walking his dog who was asking me intelligent questions about by EOS canon camera at old sarum as he was to purchase one, you see total sanity!

Jason loved Salisbury especially the cathedral, wot a nice bloke. In short I hope that he keeps in touch, and we meet again soon on his turf there in Dallas – you know I want to go to that ranch they call south fork. Bap ah Bap ah Bap ah dad a dad a da etc…